A Little More Grace and a Little Thicker Skin Would Go a Long Way
I’ve been thinking about something lately. Why is it so hard for Christians to get along?
Seriously. We serve the same Savior, read the same Bible (well, we’re supposed to anyway), and claim to be filled with the same Holy Spirit. Yet sometimes we have a harder time getting along with one another than we do with people who don’t even share our faith.
We argue over theology, politics, worship styles, and personal preferences. And thanks to social media, we now have a platform where we can publicly criticize one another for the entire world to see. I’m convinced the devil is sitting back enjoying every minute of it.
King David understood the beauty of God’s people living in harmony. He wrote:
📖 “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1 NIV
Notice that David doesn’t say how good and pleasant it is when God’s people agree on everything. He says when God’s people live together in unity. There’s a difference! Unity doesn’t mean uniformity or compromising biblical truth. It means recognizing that what unites us in Christ is greater than what divides us.
I believe achieving that kind of unity requires two things.
1️⃣ We Need to Be More Kind and Gracious
Some Christians seem to believe that being right gives them permission to be rude. It doesn’t! You can be biblically correct and still be completely wrong in how you treat people.
The Apostle Paul gives us clear instructions:
📖 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 NIV
Being gracious doesn’t mean being weak, and speaking the truth doesn’t require being a jerk. Sometimes it’s not what we say that’s the problem. It’s how we say it. Jesus was full of both grace and truth. We should strive to be the same.
2️⃣ We Need to Develop Thicker Skin!
Now, here’s the other side of the equation. Some Christians need to stop being offended by everything!
Someone disagrees with us, and we’re offended. Someone challenges our thinking, and we’re offended. Someone doesn’t acknowledge us, and suddenly we’re questioning their character and Christianity. Come on, bro!
Not every disagreement is an attack. Not every correction is criticism. And just because someone hurts your feelings doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve sinned against you.
Solomon offers some wisdom we could all benefit from:
📖 “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11 NIV
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is simply overlook an offense! You don’t have to respond to every comment, defend yourself against every criticism, or turn every disagreement into a battle. Sometimes you just need to extend grace and move on.
❤️ Unity Requires Both
Christian unity requires people who are more careful about how they treat others and people who are less easily offended by how others treat them. Imagine how much healthier our churches, friendships, and families would be if we practiced both!
In John 17, Jesus prayed that His followers would be one. He connected our unity to our witness before an unbelieving world. How we treat one another matters because the world is watching.
🎯 My Challenge for Today
Before you speak, ask yourself whether your words are gracious. Before you take offense, ask yourself whether it’s really worth getting upset about. And before you write that next Facebook comment, ask yourself whether you’re building up the Body of Christ or simply trying to win an argument.
I’ll be the first to admit that the Holy Spirit has checked me on this more than once. I’d like to think I’ve yielded to Him more times than not, but let’s be honest, sometimes I fail at this too!
We don’t have to agree on everything or compromise biblical truth, but we do have to love one another. The world needs to see a Church that stands firmly on truth while demonstrating genuine love.
A little more kindness, a little more grace, and a little thicker skin would go a long way.
Christians, we’ve got to do better! And that starts with you and me.
Alex Bryant is a pastor, author, and speaker who writes about race, faith, and culture in America.
