Why a life of obedience shapes the way we treat others
One of the things I’ve noticed lately is that the older people get, the more they reflect on whether they truly lived well.
I’m part of a weekly Bible study where I am by far the youngest guy in the room. I did the math one day, and the average age is probably around 74 years old. Several of the men are in their 80s. They joke with me all the time about how “young” I am and how they would love to be 54 again.
The other day, our discussion centered around righteousness, integrity, and living a life that pleases God. What struck me was not the theology as much as the honesty in the room.
These were good men. Men who have served God faithfully for decades. Men who raised families, worked hard, loved their wives, stayed committed to church, and tried to honor the Lord with their lives. Yet several of them talked openly about relationships that still weighed on them. Moments where they may have hurt someone. Situations where misunderstandings lingered. People they hoped to make peace with before they leave this earth.
And as I listened, I thought about Proverbs 16:7 in the New Living Translation:
“When people’s lives please the Lord, even their enemies are at peace with them.”
That verse does not mean everybody will agree with you. It does not mean nobody will ever dislike you. Jesus Himself was hated, despite being perfect.
But I do think the principle is clear. When we truly live in a way that pleases God, it changes how we treat people.
Pleasing God is not just about attending church or saying the right things spiritually. Scripture teaches that loving God is directly connected to obedience. Jesus said, “If you love me, obey my commandments.” The Bible also says obedience is better than sacrifice.
In other words, God is not simply looking for religious activity. He is looking for surrendered hearts.
And when our hearts are surrendered to Him, it affects our relationships. We become quicker to forgive. Quicker to apologize. Quicker to humble ourselves. Quicker to extend grace. We begin treating people differently because obedience to God naturally shapes the way we live around others.
That does not mean everyone will suddenly like you. Sometimes people reject righteousness because it confronts the way they want to live. But there is a difference between being disliked because you stood for truth and being disliked because you were prideful, selfish, harsh, or difficult.
As believers, our goal should not be to make everybody happy. Our goal should be to please God.
And if conflict exists, let it never be because we failed to walk in integrity.
What impacted me most during that Bible study was realizing that near the end of life, these men were not talking about money, titles, accomplishments, or success. They were thinking about relationships. They were thinking about character. They were thinking about whether they honored God and treated people rightly.
That is wisdom.
Maybe that is a question all of us should ask ourselves more often:
Am I truly living in a way that pleases the Lord?
Because when you genuinely pursue obedience to God, it changes the way you live, the way you love, and the way you treat people.
Word…
Alex Bryant is a pastor, author, and speaker who writes about race, faith, and culture in America.
